Why I Hate The Internet

There are a lot of things I find annoying in our world of today. But one of my top ten has to do with the Internet.

I believe that somewhere there is an entire room filled with techno-wizards who labor long hours to intentionally come up with aggravating tricks intgended to force us to notice an ad and, hopefully, buy the featured product.

One common trick is to throw up a full page ad on your screen and then, after a short delay, have a miniscule “X” appear that must be used to close it. They then move the “X” all around the page from ad to ad forcing you to hunt for it.

A recent advance in irritating ad presentation is to throw up an ad which blocks your view of whatever item you’ve started to read. It then goes away only after you click the ”X” several times. The absolute worst was one I encountered that moved around the page when you tried to close it—diabolical … but admittedly clever.

Or how about those or sequences designed to have you accidentally open an ad through the use of misleading arrows? Say you’ve clicked on an Internet link which portends to feature the top 10 Hollywood actresses with the biggest … brains. You click on it and it takes you to this screen which takes about an hour and a half to load.

After reading the first page, you click to see the second starlet but are confronted by 47 different shaped arrows, all pointing to really annoying ads. Finally, if you scroll down and hold the ctrl button while hitting the “X” and “Y” keys simultaneously, another arrow comes up which will, in fact, move you forward in the featured article.

Another one you may also have discovered is when looking for an item on google or Amazon you’re suddenly besieged by ads for similar items. Just a little annoying unless you were shopping for your wife and then she sees your Facebook newsfeed thereby ruining your surprise to buy her a really enormous fake diamond. Of course, I guess it could be worse. If a guy were planning a Bruce Jenner move and subsequently his wife happens to notice ads for removing a particular part of the male anatomy on his newsfeed.

I really hate it when I see what appears to be a legitimate story in my news feed and eagerly share it with my buddies only to have some buzz-killer friend shoot me a Snopes link revealing that the story was established as false years ago.

I hate it when I’m researching a product that I’m interested in buying on the Internet and get a bunch of reviews without dates so I don’t know if the review was for this year’s product or one from before Al Gore invented the Internet.

I can’t be the only one who has trouble reading and entering those strings of letters and numbers arranged randomly in different typeface to establish that I’m not some web robot.

But I have gained a great deal of financial advice from Internet such as:

  1.  The stock market will either continue unabated or will crash and investors will lose everything.
  2. Gold is where smart investors need to be or the Chinese will soon dump their reserves causing prices to plummet.
  3. Either the dollar is positioned to soar in value this year or will be devalued and worthless.

Having gleaned this advice, the best investment strategy is clear: my money is headed for the mattress.