Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

In these days where political correctness had become the rage, most of us feel pressure to be mindful of what we say. It seems that nearly every day we hear of some ridiculous law suit filed by somebody offended by something. Then there’s the seemingly never ending liability issues because the consumer wasn’t provided with a 15 page disclosure document outlining the hazards of using say… a paper clip.

So in that spirit, I would like to share something with you that I have sent out annually to my close friends. I wish I could claim authorship of it, but I’m afraid I’m not that smart. Actually, I first saw it in a fax from my late  good friend J. B. Roberts. We use to pick and grin together until cancer took him away. Boy could that boy pick a guitar.

Sometimes we’d play all night long. Like the time the sun was just coming up when I threw him in the pool, fully clad, with his high-dollar cowboy boots on. I don’t remember what precipitated it but I’m pretty sure that Jack Daniels was mostly to blame.

Anyhow, you may have seen this on the Internet, but if not, I hope you enjoy:  (Previously posted as a blog in 2013)

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

“We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes.

“By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

“This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.”

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year